Tasing a Trail

Was it just me, or did 17-year-old Steve Consalvi’s dash in centerfield pump you up? If the world didn’t see how crazy, insane, ludicrous, and passionate Philly fans were after a mere destruction of South Street following our jubilant World Series victory, then this sure did. Better yet, another fan, Thomas Betz from Warminster, Pa., ran on the field the very next night. Honestly, if we had lost that game, I would have been completely and utterly fed up with fans running onto the field. I mean really? I sincerely would have been scared for the people around me Wednesday morning if some bozo, who was also stupid enough to have marijuana on his person during the stunt, distracted Phils players enough to actually lose the ball game. That being said, I really believe that this pot-head and the aftermath of the Monday night’s tasing has fueled a winning streak for the Phightins. Of course Halladay led the team to a win during his start, and a suddenly studly Kyle Kendrick threw 7 shutout innings against the Cardinals’ extremely dangerous lineup, featuring Albert Pujols. Now, Let’s take a deeper look at the most important of the winning streak: the one that started it all

Cole Hamels pitched his best game since September of 2009. Period. And that last game was against the helpless Washington Nationals (who surprisingly have a winning record so far this season). Cole only gave up one earned run with two walks and eight strikeouts. However the best stat of the night was his ability to go eight very strong innings. Hamels hasn’t been able to get out of the 6^th inning in all but two starts (one being Tuesday’s), forcing some serious bullpen work. The reason for this success can only be due to one of the three following scenarios:

1.) Early Tuesday morning, Hamels signed a contract extension with Comcast through 2057, with agreements for the 26-year-old to appear in a new commercial every year until the deal expires. The commercials would consist of Hamels in a hot tub at the Playboy Mansion with three different beautiful girls (all of which would be mesmerized by his devastatingly good looks, charm, and nasty off-speed pitches) every year. The commercial would then proceed with a little acting, prompting Hamels to remove the tops of all the girls bikini and a slogan reading, “Xfinitiy: More freewill with your bill” flashing up on the bottom of the TV screen. Let’s just say Hamels was in a very good mood that day.

2.) Ryan Madson kicked a wall, broke his toe, and cried for his mom all 10 seconds before Hamels was about to do the same stupid maneuver following a confrontation with the backup shortstops’ backup, Wilson Valdez, about the pronunciation of the Dominican Republic as either the aforementioned way, or the Spanish way, (translated to English as) Republic Dominican.

3.) After watching endless minutes of television coverage about the tasing in centerfield in the midst of the previous night’s game, Hamels headed to the clubhouse, annoyed at the negative TV publicity, with fire in his eyes and a passion burning in his belly. The former ace then walked out to the mound for the top of the first inning and had the competitive drive to make sure he put his team in position to win the ball game, and to not allow a possible game interruption to affect the outcome of the game.

The best thing about Hamels’ performance was that he had command on all of his pitches. You can definitely make the argument that he fell apart after the second fan, in as many nights, rushed onto the field in the top of the ninth, but the body of work he put in for the first 8 innings was very close to emulating hs dominance from his 2008 postseason and World Series performances. Whoever anonymously posted on my Coleossol Impact articile, think again. I promise you, by the end of the season, Hamels will post a sub-four ERA with 16 wins and 180 strikeouts. He is capable of being a very solid number two starter in a championship winning rotation. But pitching isn’t the only thing that wins championships.

During that year’s World Series, Ryan Howard curled up into a ball and sucked his thumb in the corner of the clubhouse, Jimmy Rollins only managed three hits in the series, and almost every pitcher, except for Cliff Lee, collapsed and pooped their pants at some point or another during their starts. The point is, a World Series team needs role players to step up during the postseason, and Carlos Ruiz did that last October. He continued his clutchness with his walk-off hit, and quite honestly, I expected him to at least get on base when he stepped up to the plate. We NEED guys like Chooch (Who has the best post-game interviews in the history of mankind) to deliver. That’s why we won the lottery with Placido Polanco to replace an ineffective Pedro Feliz. The Phillies are together a well-rounded team, with pretty damn good starting pitching, a sensational lineup that provides great run support, and a bullpen that is slowly but surely finding its identity after an egotistical, immature, and just plain stupid Ryan Madson deservedly landed himself on DL.

Here’s the point. This recent winning streak didn’t coincidentally begin after the tasing in centerfield. The organization was embarrassed on national television and I guarantee that many players as well as people in upper management were pissed about this snot-nosed punk teenager running on the field. Since the electric knots that were surged around the world, the Phils have opened up a 4 game winning streak and have won 7 of their last 9. They’re setting the tone early. They’re tasing a trail for October in early May. Don’t look now but Charlie Manuel’s club now has a two game lead over the despicable New York Mets and have upcoming series against the Brewers, Pirates and Cubs looming within the next 15 days. The division lead could swell all the way up to 5 and maybe even 7 games over the next two weeks. This trend of winning, this constant success, this victorious path that is being laid out, all of which are collectively pushing this team towards a postseason run. I honestly don’t know if tasers have sparked this teams streak (pun intended), and I really don’t care what did. Can I at least hope the tasing has something to do with it?